Skeptical to the End
Deity: Hello. Welcome. <spreads celestial “hands”>
me: uh … hi. Where am I?
Deity: What’s the last thing you remember?
me: Going to bed, I think. Yeah, that and a weird dream after I fell asleep. And then, all of a sudden, here.
Deity: uh huh.
me: Am I … ?
Deity: Are you …?
me: Am I … dead?
Deity: So it would seem, yes.
me: That means … wait! Are are you … God?!
Deity: Among other things, yes.
me: But that can’t be. I’m an atheist.
Deity: So I’ve seen. And yet, here we both are. Care to update your belief?
me: Shit. Does that mean I’m, you know, heading to <gestures downward>?
Deity: Nope. You and I wouldn’t be having this little chat if you were.
me: But, how’s that possible? I don’t … well, I suppose I didn’t … believe you existed. Doesn’t that mean eternal damnation or something like that? That’s what all the religious folks kept insisting.
Deity: Yes. Well. They’re wrong about that. Many are wrong about a lot of things. Their agenda frequently doesn’t align with mine, if you get my drift.